“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically, to say “no” to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside. The enemy of the “best” is often the “good.”
― Stephen R. Covey
The concept of having a deeper or bigger “YES” is not a new one for me, well, at least not cognitively. Experientially, it’s fair to say that I haven’t always lived out this principle very well. To be honest, it’s probably one of my greatest weaknesses. Since I have a number of interests and enjoy volunteering, it has been easy to say “YES” to a number of good ministries over the years, while not always staying centered on the best investment of my time and energy. By not truly knowing where my deeper “YES” belonged, I said “yes” too often- spreading myself too thin many times and never giving any one area my full attention.
Well, that was my past and has likely contributed to a number of health problems I have faced over the years, including high blood pressure and more recently Adrenal Fatigue. A friend somewhat jokingly said the other day that perhaps my focus word for 2017 should be “NO!” since I am really needing to limit my outside commitments right now due to the ongoing healing process from the Adrenal Fatigue. I chuckled initially, but as I thought more about it, I realized that it was indeed the word I needed to focus on most- at least for this first quarter or half of the year. (I can still keep ‘Joy’ as a secondary focus word because I will be learning how to find joy in the midst of a season of “no’s!”).
So far in 2017, I have said no to every volunteer commitment I had made for this semester, which was not easy. I stepped away from serving as a Life Encourager, the volunteer role that feels the most like counseling/coaching and one of my most treasured times of every month. I stepped down from co-leading a group of amazing students in School of Kingdom Ministry, a class that God has used to transform my thinking and nurture my faith. I stepped down (until further notice) from serving as a prayer minister for Healing Rooms, another of my favorite ministry times where we have focused, extended prayer times for others in groups of 3-5. We see God work miracles every month, and I will truly miss partnering in prayer on Sunday nights for this season. I had planned to start doing some volunteer counseling through an organization that provides free counseling services for those with a lower income, but looks like that will be on hold for awhile now, too. I declined the opportunity to start BeFriender Training, which was going to be a fabulous training session to better equip me with a loving, listening presence for others. I also stepped down and passed the baton to another friend to coordinate/lead the group who plans to stay in a box outside for a night in February to raise funds and awareness for homelessness in the area.
I honestly have tears in my eyes as I finish typing that paragraph because it is truly a sacrifice to step away from serving in ways that I feel called to and genuinely love. HOWEVER, I am convicted of the need to make my deeper “YES” my health this year, which at this time means saying “no” to everything outside my job and family/friend time to nurture relationships. I smile as I remind myself that every ministry that I am stepping away from temporarily will still be there later this year or next year. There will always be people seeking prayer and counsel. May God help me maintain this perspective as I walk through the grieving process this winter/spring.
I am reminded of the quote “Where there is a change, there is a loss. And where there is loss, there is grief.” It may sound strange to call this a grieving process, but for me, this is a significant change in my life and it already is a grieving process. I can already feel the sadness welling up in me as I think about how I won’t be with my usual SoKM group Sunday night…but in the midst of grieving what I am temporarily losing, I feel God prompting me to start asking myself this question:
“By saying “no” to a number of commitments, what are you saying “YES” to? Well, I am saying “Yes” to:
-my physical and emotional health
-the healing process for the Adrenal Fatigue
-rest and relaxation
-more time for prayer and reflection
-more writing/journaling/blogging
-learning a lesson that will positively impact me for the rest of my life
-and on a lighter note, I just might finish a few more seasons of Ally McBeal 🙂
I hope and pray that if you can relate to my story and feel called to say a few more “no’s” this year in order to have a deeper “Yes,” that you will find joy in the journey…even in the grieving. After all, for everything we may think we are losing, God will surely show us what we are gaining if we seek Him in the process. Here’s to a year of remembering our deeper “YES” so that we can say “no” with grace and confidence, trusting our schedules in God’s hands, not ours.
GratefulOne 