The last 3 days have not been what I expected. After being off work for 7 weeks, I finally was ready to return two weeks ago, only to be hit by a virus, temporarily improve, and then be down again. I’m not sure why it’s been such a discouraging few days, but I have found my attitude less positive than usual and my focus centered more on my problems than my joys. This negativity has led me to seeking a temporary escape… meaning getting caught up in the drama of more Ally McBeal episodes than I care to admit! Let’s just say I am about finished with season 2 and I’ve only had a Netflix account for…um…2 weeks?!
After numbing the negativity with countless Ally McBeal episodes, I opted to practice a few more productive coping skills- extended times to reflect, process with God, journal, and have a life-giving, long talk with a close friend. And it’s from those hours that God has started revealing some revelations about what I am to be learning in this season.
One of the main phrases I sensed He put on my heart Friday was to remember that healing (at least this particular healing) is more like the process of walking a marathon, not running the 50 yard dash. I keep hearing the phrase: “Be patient with the process.” In my frustration with being so slowed down, I honestly don’t want to accept this slow-paced healing process. I AM a lot better, and I give thanks for that! However, I get tired after slowly walking around the church at work now, when just months ago I could run or do back to back aerobics classes. I rather take leaps toward my recovery, but am finding that some days the best I can do is take a baby step.
I have realized in the last few days how easy it is to grumble…and how quickly that attitude can make one miserable! Thankfully, I know better than to stay stuck in that place, and my years of training to be a counselor and as a client myself have taught me what to do on weekends like this.
I caught this quote on Facebook today and it resonated with me:
“Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys.”
I agree with this sentiment of this quote (though I believe there IS a healthy way to process our problems in a positive, solution-focused manner without dwelling, over-analyzing, and complaining.) I made a point this morning of honestly confessing that I was “working on finding joy and cultivating gratitude” and once I had achieved that goal, then I would write my next blog…well, here we are! A few hours of Ally McBeal, prayer, texting a good friend, listening to uplifting music, and time in the Word, and my mindset is different.
No, I am still not thrilled about this season being compared to a marathon. I’d still rather sprint to the finish line in the next 24 hours and have my energy fully restored; but, I am S-L-O-W-L-Y learning to accept this season for what it is.
Acceptance is also a process, and I guess I am still in the process of accepting the marathon. Yet, even as I wrestle through the journey toward acceptance, I am determined to find joy in each day. Tonight’s joys? A new flavor of hot chocolate from a friend, energy to blog, a renewed mind, and maybe just one more episode of Ally McBeal. 🙂
“Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” -Psalm 30:5
GratefulOne 