I strive to be a pleasant, cheerful, joyful person in life- just like many good humans out there, but maintaining a cheerful and joyful demeanor has not always come easy for me. I’ve had to learn to be joyful in hardship, learn to see the good in the messiness of life, and cling to God in the darkest and loneliest nights and still smile the next day so I could be a light for someone else.
Honestly, I thought life would be easier. I know, I’m naive to even write this! I remember people joking with me when I was younger that “gullible” was spelled on the ceiling (naturally I looked up.)
I think it was my first health diagnosis that taught me that life isn’t always easy (age 13). Then I had the following years of struggles to find medication to help….
Then there was my first marriage in my late twenties to a seminary graduate turned abuser. That taught me a LOT real fast about how life is not easy. But the good thing was that by this stage of life, I was ready to learn how to thrive through the trials of life, how to pivot and have a new mindset, how to truly find biblical joy on the journey of life.
Though I would never wish abuse on anyone, I am thankful I had a growth perspective and sought all the counsel I could find during my first marriage because I was a stronger, more confident, and assertive woman on the other side. I remember studying verses about finding joy in trials and earnestly seeking the Lord’s wisdom and understanding about these crazy verses! I made James 1:2-4 my theme verse for awhile- trusting in the Word before my heart fully grasped it. I wasn’t perfect, but I did have a genuine heart to grow and change.
After I was set free from my first marriage (6 years later) there was naturally a lot of relief, as well as joy! I felt like I rode that joy ride for a few years without too many major hiccups in life…it was a sweet season. I think God knew my body, mind, and soul needed some restorative years- time to begin to understand concepts life self care, the value of rest, and continued application of what I’d learned about boundaries.
Then age 37 hit…and I am not sure my health has returned to a state of normalcy since (7 years later). I’d say these have been the years of one health crisis/problem after another and a “Why me- again, Lord?” complaint in my heart if I’m honest. I have had nights of crying out to God, whether in pain, disappointment, fear or just anger at the situation- lamenting my woes to the One who hears my every cry.
The early 40’s brought me wondering why life wasn’t easier again- this time for another reason: lost friendships. I mean, how could this be?! Aren’t I a nice person to be friends with I thought? Over a couple of year time span it seemed that every 6 months or so I lost another friend. The reasons differed, but the hurt was the same. I highly value friendships and do my best to be a loyal, loving friend (tho of course fall short). These losses hit me hard and felt out of left field. I cried and cried over these losses. It’s grief- so it comes like waves and I still have days of deep sadness over these lost friends who I never had much closure with, if any.
What am I learning through these losses? I am learning not to be offended by people (this appears to be a very slow lesson for me!). There will always be someone who doesn’t like me or my mission and passion in life. Sometimes life just doesn’t make sense and I have to remember the good and be grateful for the many blessings God’s put before me.
Just tonight as I cried out to Him again- or was that whining?! because of my 3rd attack of Covid- I heard His gentle whisper….”I am here.” And suddenly that was enough to quiet my heart and feel prompted to write this blog- the first in years it appears!
I read a Facebook post from a seminary friend who I rarely talk to anymore, but it was really powerful. She challenged us to live out our calling and do what only we personally are called to do. That’s what matters.
I know I am called to encourage and to inspire- whether through writing, speaking, coaching, a simple text, a listening ear for the lonely, or a love note on a post-it for my husband.
This blog wouldn’t be complete without noting that there are SOME parts of life that are easier than others, that don’t take as much effort to focus on the good and find the joy…we all have them and I hope you have many!
One of mine is the gift of Steve as my husband. Marriage take 2 has not been perfect, but in many ways it’s easy. My heart rests easy when Steve is around. We’re in sync. We laugh together, we transition from conversation to song lyrics together in a second like I’ve never experienced with anyone before, we have similar ministry interests, we know how to show love and serve with joy, and the list goes on. After a tumultuous and stressful first marriage, I am so grateful that God gave me the courage to leave so that one day He’d bring such a better match into my life- who I enjoy doing life with every day. He was worth the decade wait!
If you can relate- you thought life would be easier- I encourage you to seek the Lord, seek His Word, seek godly counsel and learn the lessons He has for you so that you can live a joyful, abundant life as He intends. I think we all need to learn to pivot…When life throws us lemons, learn to make lemonade. When plan A fails…seek Plan B. Adapt. Learn flexibility. Learn to have a transformed mind (Romans 12). This is one of the most powerful tools out there! With our minds set on God and His goodness, we can find joy through any trial. It’s ok to walk through the darkness and acknowledge that darkness, but don’t stay there! I encourage you to find your way out so that next time it’s a little less painful because You remember God’s faithfulness from the last dark time.
Life still isn’t easy. As I write I am coughing so hard I can hardly breathe, but I have learned that I always have a choice. Stay in the pain, whine, and complain or live out my calling and make a difference in spite of the hardship. Ironically our devotion tonight asked us what we could do to show love this week? My first thought was – Great! Nice question for a week of Covid. But God…He had another answer and this blog is the answer. I trust that someone needs this today or down the road.
I encourage you to learn true, biblical joy. It can transform your life. God will meet you wherever you are, whatever your trial, whatever your mess and teach you just what you need as you draw near to Him.
Sending love and joy!
Melissa
GratefulOne 